Surf & Turf Wars (2022) KILL COUNT is the 61st KILL COUNT of The Kill Count.
Overview[]
The eddisode opens on Edd, Matt, and Tomwatching TV in Edd's apartment, sweltering due to a heatwave sweeping all of England. Edd attempts to make a witty jab at Tom, but loses his train of thought due to the heat. Matt opens a window, causing his hair to catch on fire. An advertisem*nt for Cold Cola plays on TV, giving the gang the idea to go the beach. They get in their car and start driving as the opening credits play.
The gang arrive at the beach and Tom and Edd set up an umbrella and inflatable couch. Matt steps out of the car covered from head to toe in protective gear to shield himself from the sun. He takes one step onto the sand, only for his clothes to burn off immediately. Unfazed, Matt douses sunscreen all over his body, puts on an umbrella hat, and begins walking towards the shore while knocking people over.
Meanwhile, a tanker is cruising along the coast of the sea. The crewmates of the ship begin asking their captain about the suspicious oil drums they're hauling. The captain initially dismisses the crew because he claims he "doesn't ask questions", but makes a call to figure out where the boat is heading. The ship hits a bump, causing the captain to ask what happened, only to be sent to the brig by the crew due to him asking a question. One of the barrels falls overboard and begins drifting towards the beach.
Back at the beach, it looks like Matt is burning people with a blowtorch, but he is actually playing a video game called "The Beach: Sun, Sea, and Doom" on a flatscreen TV. An extension cord plugged into the TV stretches all the way from the beach, throughout the city, to Edd's apartment. A scientist who claims he has just found a cure for all diseases nearly trips over it before being mauled by a tiger. A random onlooker trips over the cord, unplugging the TV and breaking the scientist's formula.
Matt gets angered that his game was shut off, but Tom and Edd argue that there are plenty of other fun things to enjoy at the beach. Tom drinks a beverage called a "sea breeze", while Edd drinks his signature Cola. Irritated, Matt storms off. A man walks up to Edd and Matt to ask if they've signed up for the "Fun-petition," but the two immediately dismiss him due to it not being a real word. The man is trampled by one of the beach bullies, angering Edd. Edd and the beach bully exchange insults, before agreeing to fight in the Fun-petition, with the losing group being forced to leave the beach forever.
The referee announces the first event of the fun-petition will be a sand eating contest. Tom immediately drops to his knees and stuffs as much sand in his mouth as possible. The referee realizes his clipboard actually said watermelon eating contest, to Tom's dismay. Edd begins to eat a balloon that looks like a watermelon, only for it to pop. Edd realizes it was a prank set by the beach bullies, and declares war on them.
Meanwhile, Matt finds a quiet rocky area of the beach, brimming with sea life. He begins collecting fish in a bucket. Unbeknownst to him, the oil drum which fell off the boat gets lodged between the rocks nearby. Matt picks up a lobster which tries to grab his nose. Matt smugly remarks he doesn't have a nose, only to be stabbed in the eye by it's claws. In a panic, Matt trips over the bucket and his chin pierces into the side of the oil drum. He dislodges himself from the barrel which starts leaking black goo. Matt appears to be fine at first, but when he turns around, he begins to transform into a massive lobster-human mutant.
Deaths[]
Counted Deaths[]
- Beach Body - Drowned in sand by some kids - 2 mins in
- Video Game NPC #1 - Burned w/ flamethrower by Matt - 3 mins in
- Video Game NPC #2 - Burned w/ flamethrower by Matt - 3 mins in
- Doctor - Eaten by tiger offscreen - 5 mins in
