Chapter Text
Matt pressed his hands to the glass of his bedroom window. Tom hopped out of his Mum’s car, shutting the door behind him. Excitement filled the ginger as he rushed down the stairs. His friend was over to play! He couldn’t wait.
Tom’s Mum didn’t stick around all that long, she waved at the door as the little blank eyed boy entered. Matt had been petrified of them both at first– the eyes! But it was something you grew used to over time. It put his own Mum off, but he had pleaded and begged for this visit. Matt wanted to knock about with his friend, at his home… where all the best things to play with were. They’d have a bang up time.
Matt rushed to Tom. He had on his favourite overalls, and he waved goodbye to his Mum enthusiastically.
“Hi Matt.”
“Hiya!”
They charged back up to Matt’s bedroom. Matt remembered quickly why it was more fun to play when Edd wasn’t egging Tom on— the pair of them got violent together. It was always ‘this guy explodes’ or ‘I shot you’ or ‘my super laser eyes melted your brains’. Left Matt to pout. He’d rather do fun games where everyone stayed in one piece and things were fair.
Tom talked less when he wasn’t with Edd, but Matt didn’t mind so much. He could fill the space with his own voice.
His Mum poked her head in and asked if they were thirsty. Matt nodded yes. Tom’s eyes were wide when she appeared.
“Why doesn’t your Mum knock on the door?” He whispered when she was gone.
Matt creased his brow in response. “I don’t know. We weren’t being naughty, so why does it matter?”
“You’re supposed to have, uh…” Tom paused and looked deep in thought. “Pri— Privacy, I think. My Mum says so.”
Matt didn’t know what that word meant. He shrugged. Things seemed weird at Tom’s house. Tom was odd in general, actually. He once tried to convince Edd that his whole family was cursed. Completely mental!
Matt forgot about it when they resumed their game. Tom snapped his head up and got surprised every time Matt’s Mum came in without knocking. She kissed the ginger on his forehead and Tom stuck out his tongue in disgust.
“Yuck!” His dark eyes crinkled.
“It’s not gross!” Matt protested.
“It’s gross in front of me, I’m your mate.”
Matt crossed his arms.
Matt wanted Tom to stay for dinner. Tom shook his head. Was he scared of… privacy, or whatever? Matt wasn’t sure, but he was disappointed.
He stood by his front door with Tom while they waited for the car to pull up to take him home. Tom had to stand on his tiptoes to peek out the window. Matt was taller, he could see fine. He thought it would probably be less of a problem when they were older. He’d been told he had a lot of growing to do and that he was ‘only nine years old’. Bollocks… he was a big kid. Not a baby. He’d have two digits soon. It was true though that his older sisters were taller… maybe it was right.
Tom sighed.
“Mum likes to be late.”
“Why?”
“She’s just never in a rush.”
“…Why not?” Matt tilted his head. He didn’t know all that much about Tom’s Mum.
“She’s ‘stopping to smell the roses’.” Tom threw up his fingers in air quotes. Matt had learned what the hand gesture was from the blank eyed boy himself. Well… the redhead didn’t know about any sort of roses here in England but it sounded nice, at least.
Matt’s father sat in his chair behind them, mostly ignoring everything but his newspaper. His big sisters Amy and Penny were on the sofa, whispering to each other. The oldest nudged the younger, and Penny hopped off and walked over to the boys.
“Maaaatt,” she tilted her head and her pigtails followed suit. “Why can’t we keep him?”
Tom’s eyes went wide.
“He’s got a perfectly fine house he can go back to!” Matt clarified.
“But we need another model,” she grinned.
“A what?” Tom whispered, worriedly. Matt shook his head.
“You’ve got me already! Tom is going home.”
Matt’s father adjusted his newspaper with a loud crinkle. Matt snapped his eyes to the man.
“Your friend isn’t staying for dinner?” He asked, keeping his face hidden. “She’ll miss out. You know your Mum’s cooking is top notch.”
Tom’s nose crinkled.
“Um—“ Penny raised a brow. “Dad…”
Matt opened his mouth, and then closed it. His stomach felt nervous. His father lowered the newspaper.
“What?” He looked at the three children. Even Matt’s other sister was looking awkward from the other side of the room. “You three should know, her food—“ Matt watched his thick brows furrow and his moustache frown with his lips. “Oh. Wait— do you have a sister, or something?” He pointed to Tom. “I swore— well, nevermind.“ He thrust his newspaper back in front of his face.
Tom looked at the floor.
Tom’s Mum arrived just in time.
Tom didn’t come over alone anymore after that. Matt went to his house instead, where they were unbothered. Tom didn’t have any siblings. It was just him and his Mum. And she was very polite about giving them time to themselves. Matt supposed that was the ‘privacy’. He didn’t really mind his own Mum not giving it to him. He had nothing to keep secret from her.
Matt thought maybe… they could try again one day. He liked inviting his friends over… he just wished his dad was more polite.
He thought more about how nice it would be. Tom only had his Mum, so if he could get on with Matt’s Dad? It would be great! He felt determined to make it happen.
Someday…
Tom isn’t sure if all of that went so well. It was sort of … a mixed bag.
He’s got a good opinion of Matt’s family. Well. About three-fourths of them.
They had visited. Matt had received a sudden phone call from his Mum and couldn’t help but blab about their relationship. She was astonished it had taken him over a year to tell her. Matt said it was due to being forgetful. Tom wonders if that part is true.
Matt seems to have inherited something very particular from his Dad: the ability to command attention. And so, dinner went… not great. Mr. Hardings is rather intolerant. He seemingly didn’t remember Tom from all those years ago, which was a good thing… but… it was clear he still disapproved of their relationship.
Tom was bracing for something to be off, because Matt seemed like he had some nerves that past morning. He’d been chewing at his lip on the train. Squeezing Tom’s hand tightly. He answered questions too quickly, instead of his usual long pause while he processed the words.
That, and he was painfully quiet. That’s so… wrong. Matt should be chatty and upbeat, he should light up the world with his smile. He always does. At least to Tom.
He doesn’t like Matt being nervous. It’s not right.
Besides, he should have been the one who had anxieties. Meeting your significant other’s parents is a big step. Even though he had already seen them years ago… him and Matt were together now. It changed the atmosphere.
But he understands why Matt had been all aflutter now. Tom closes Matt’s flat door behind him and watches as the ginger throws his hands in the air, the dam breaking, finally. He was silent yet again on the ride back.
“ Argh!”
That sound says it all. Tom lowers his head, not knowing what to do.
“He’s so— urgh !” Matt chucks his black suit coat at the sofa.
He’s talking about his Dad. It was all him. The look he had given Tom over his food was one of pure contempt.
Aside from him however, everyone else was so wonderfully friendly. Matt’s Mum remembered him dearly from years ago. She was acquainted with his own Mother, back then. She sent him home with leftovers and a kind embrace.
Matt’s complained about her incessant calls before, but it’s obvious she cares.
His sisters were also nice people. Tom remembers them the best, from when they were kids. They were always dragging Matt off to experiment on him with their cosmetics. Probably why the redhead takes such good care of himself to this day.
There had been some off-colour comments from Matt’s Father. That was the main issue. Tom had seethed, but kept his cool. Matt had seemed so let down. He’d whined for his Dad to stop. His Mum had scolded, and the two had gotten into quite the argument. Very awkward.
It’s okay. Tom is plenty used to people being off put by him. It’s a lot of things. His alcoholism, his eyes, his demeanour… and of course the rare chance people discover some other secrets he keeps close to his chest.
It makes him one hell of a mess. One that people don’t want to be around— so it all bounced off.
Matt seems to be taking it less well.
He flops on his back onto the bed in his room– Their room. His pout is pronounced. Tom pads awkwardly over and looks at him with hesitation. Matt tilts his head, sadness in his eyes, and reaches out.
Tom falls into his arms. He rests his cheek on Matt’s collarbone, and hears the sigh rumble in the redhead’s chest. Matt’s arms encircle around him, squeezing. Secure.
“That sucked.” Matt says.
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not. ”
That’s different. Matt’s not one to be so staunchly negative. And sound so sure of it, too. It’s a little… scary. Tom glances up at his expression. His mouth is pulled tight, his eyes look tired and red. He seems… weathered. It’s like looking into a mirror.
He’s at a loss. How does he… how can he fill Matt’s usual role?
“I don’t care.”
Matt’s hand tightens on his shoulder as he meets his eyes. “ I do. All we got was… belittled. I was so afraid this would happen. I thought… maybe…” His voice wavers. “He’d changed.”
“Well, I’m not really the ideal–”
“NO! This has nothing to do with you! ” Matt pulls away, sits up. Tom is left with an empty feeling where his hands were. His mouth drops open. “I mean, yes. It does… but I thought…” Matt’s eyes start to fill with tears. Oh, no. “I thought he could… put his issues aside. For me . I thought he cared enough.”
Tom watches with despair as Matt wipes away the wetness with his fist. This is a deep hurt. Not the snivelling one when they watch a sad film. Not the loud type when he’s frightened. It’s silent and angry instead.
Tom reaches out, afraid. He lays his hand slowly on Matt’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
The ginger shakes his head. “It’s not your fault.”
“No, I’m– I’m just sorry sh*t didn’t work out.” Matt is still crying, but he deflates, slowly. Like all the fight left in him is draining. “Your Mum is great, if it’s any consolation,” Tom tries. A tiny smile pokes at the corners of Matt’s lips.
“Yeah, she’s… she’s probably going to be bothering us a lot from now on.” A watery laugh.
“That’s okay.” He takes a pause, wondering if… he should say this. “I’d rather have a nosy Mum than none at all, y’know?”
Matt turns big doe eyes on him. Okay, that’s a little better. Tom would rather he be overly dramatic and sad than just… sad. “That’s just the thing– your parents, they’re… I thought maybe… I mean. It’s not a replacement. But… my family could be yours. But my Dad is…”
Tom inches closer, taking Matt’s arm and resting his head on his shoulder. Matt immediately leans on him in return, and it’s the most natural thing in the world. “I’ve got a family. It’s you, and Edd. And Tord… sometimes.” Tom lets out a small scoff. Matt laughs lightly again. His shoulder shakes pleasantly. Tom rubs his cheek against it.
“Yeah.” Matt’s arm snakes around him, squeezing. “That’s right.” A sigh escapes him. “You’re always so smart.”
“Thanks.” He’s learning to take compliments better. He realises the space he was giving Matt is probably not what the redhead wants… so Tom turns his body towards his partner and wipes the tears from his cheek with the pad of his thumb. Matt sniffs exaggeratedly like the big baby he is.
“I had too many expectations for how it was going to go.” He admits, sadly.
“Never a good idea.” Tom replies. He’s done cleaning up his face, but his hand lingers. Matt touches his knuckles with the tips of his fingers. “What did you want to happen?”
Matt lets out a slow breath. “My Dad would love you… and him and Mum wouldn’t fight… and you’d get a new family. I guess that was all.” He shrugs. “It didn’t feel like a huge… thing to ask for.”
“I don’t think it is. I think your Dad is just a right git.”
Matt laughs, a little louder and happier this time. His smile fades just a tad when he stops. “He really is. He was always telling me… I shouldn’t ‘act like such a girl’, or something.”
“His fault for letting your sisters pass on all the hobbies, if you ask me.” Tom doesn’t see how it makes any sense.
“He never… taught me much. If I’m being honest. When he left Mum, I felt like… I had to try harder to be like him. I never… could.” Matt takes Tom’s hand off his cheek and puts it in his lap. He laces their fingers together.
Tom actually recalls something like that. Matt had gone through a brief phase in their later teens where he put on a serious face all the time. He was a lot snippier, he stopped dressing colourfully… Tom is thankful that was short lived and not permanent.
“Hmm. I’ll bet… your Dad would have been great to have dinner with.” Matt muses as he squeezes Tom’s hand.
“Oh, for sure.” Tom grins. “You’d have to put up with the ginger jokes, though.”
“I’d put up with anything.”
They settle into a peaceful quiet, emotions cooling down. Tom feels sorrow for Matt’s lost fantasy… but he never needed it. They’ll keep in touch with the nicer members of his family… and keep close to their real one.
“Matt?”
“Yeah?”
“I, uh… You know, like I said… uh— You’re my family.” He still gets so timid, and embarrassed. He dips his head down a little. “I love you.”
Seeing Matt’s face break into a huge grin makes it so worth it. His cheeks turn the cutest shade of pink.
“Awww, Tom ! Tommyyyy…!” He throws his arms around him. Tom yells in surprise, but returns the embrace. They fit together so easily— Matt’s his puzzle piece. The soft skin of Matt’s face rubs against his forehead. It makes Tom want to…
He leans back from the hug, takes Matt’s cheeks gently into his hands and kisses him. Tom knows he’s not all that good at instigating. He does it awkwardly. He’s sort of stiff. But Matt melts anyway. It doesn’t matter how bad Tom is at this… when his partner adjusts their faces and hands, it becomes perfect.
This is why Matt is all he’ll ever need. Matt holds the sun and the moon and the stars to him. Tom doesn’t want some fantastical nuclear family. It would be nice, but it’s just a hypothetical at the end of the day.
He should probably tell Matt all of those things.
Tom pulls their lips apart. Matt stays near, nudging their noses together. His eyes are peacefully closed.
“You, uh.” Tom starts. Matt opens his eyes. They’re so beautiful it almost scares Tom out of what he’s about to say. “–Don’t have to feel bad. I don’t… need anyone else… just you. You know.” Tom’s voice gets quiet. It’s still a little difficult, saying something so cheesy.
Matt’s lip starts to quiver. His expression holds such reverence.
“You– oh, Tom.” He bursts into tears. These are normal Matt tears, though. Loud and weepy. “I love you so much!” Tom is crushed into another embrace. “You’re so sweet! ”
He can’t help but laugh a little at Matt’s dramatics. He pats the redhead on his back.
Matt presses their lips firmly together again, desperately. It sends a shiver down Tom’s back.
When Matt pulls away, he kisses Tom’s cheek and lets out a long panting breath.
“I’m… so exhausted.”
“Let’s go to sleep, okay?” Tom replies, his voice soft and concerned. He thinks Matt is probably wiped from the emotional turmoil of this all. Matt nods sadly.
They get ready for bed together. Brush their teeth side by side. Matt picks out his pyjamas for him, like he’s a baby. Tom doesn’t mind being babied— Once in a while.
He holds Matt close in his arms in bed. The redhead’s nose nuzzles into his shoulder. Tom smooths Matt’s hair back and kisses his forehead. That pulls another smile from him.
Tom doesn’t mind babying him, too.
Matt yawns.
“I hope Mum doesn’t call in the morning…”
“Don’t think about that.”
Matt goes quiet. Tom thinks she probably will call. She’ll burden them with one hundred apologies— ones that shouldn’t even be coming from her.
He sighs, and buries his nose in the soft red hair.
“Mmm. You’re so comfy. Goodnight, Love.” His voice is sleepy. Tom’s heart swells with fondness as Matt settles his head onto his chest. He rubs a hand over the redhead’s back, and listens to his slow breaths.
“‘Night Matt.”
